Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- 1: People Watching Gone Wrong

One day, I was on my way to work which requires me to take the subway. I had no books to read, no games to play, and no videos to watch. Basically, what I’m saying is that I can either look at the posters I’ve seen a million times already, or I could do a bit of people watching.

      Now, I find more often than not, my “people watching” can turn into a bad case of staring. It’s rude, but I only realize I’m doing it when it’s too late. On this day that was exactly the case.

      A man got on and sat across from me, so I started looking at what he was wearing. Sweat pants, running shoes, a hoodie, as well as greasy, messy hair to complete the look. Then as I look away, I notice he has a hole in the crotch of his pants. I think to myself, “oh, he should throw those out.” Then I realized I was staring.

      In my defense, it wasn’t long. A few seconds at most. I did feel bad about it, but I also felt bad that I was staring at such a private area (despite the fact that he displayed it with such wide open legs that he was preventing anyone from sitting next to him).

      I look up, and we made eye contact. It wasn’t good. I was caught. I tried to act natural. Then I noticed he was making some movement. I glance back, and he was…let’s say…having a “special moment” with himself.

      I guess he took my look of disgust as a saucy look of intrigue and he wasn’t ashamed to make me more uncomfortable about it. I start looking around at the other people on the sub and they were all absorbed in their own thing as this pervert’s glance penetrates my personal hot air balloon of a bubble.

      I think to myself, “okay, just get off at the next stop, and hop on the next train.” Then I realize that it would make me late for work. Luckily I was almost there, so as I avoided all eye contact with his person, and thought about happy things like cotton candy and the noise a book makes when you flip a page, I passed away those few brief minutes and left the sub as emotionally unscathed as possible.

      What is the moral to this story? If people are having a weird public transit off, I always win…so…it’s sort of worth it I guess…

Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- #2: The Prowler In The Night

 Last January, I was working two jobs. I had a full-time contract position doing administrative work as well as a part time position at a movie theatre. A lot of late nights I would come home after working both jobs and wait in a freezing (literally) subway station for my bus to arrive and complete my trip. In case you don’t feel sympathy for past me, try working 12 hours, getting 3 hours of sleep, and doing it again the next day. Then do that for six months and tell me how you feel.

     I learned helpful things like crossing your legs helps preserve your warmth, and most of the time waiting at a subway station at 2:30 in the morning is scarier than a zombie clown with rabies and chlamydia. I’m a on the shorter, weaker side of things and I couldn’t help play the worst case scenario game every time I was waiting there. What else are you going to do for half an hour of waiting? What else is going to keep you awake?  How can you think about normal things when you’re slowly going mad with sleep deprivation?

      This particular January night, I was waiting alone, again, on a corner of a t-shaped area. If you’re confused, imagine Jesus’ cross. I would be standing on his left armpit. Sometimes I would get questionable looks from people because I looked like I was looming and peering at them, but in this spot I had a mirror that I could look into and see who was walking up behind me! It was the only defense I had!

      Two women walked by me this night and gave me that same questionable look. I felt bad because I knew I might look creepy, but I really wasn’t going to do anything about it. I accepted this look, and went back to listening to music.

      Then I noticed a guy making t-shaped circles through the area, and then those two women began to make circles as well. They still looked weirded out, but this time not at me. A few minutes go by of this and a strange man approaches me. He’s clearly drunk, but he only asks for the time so I tell him.

      Then he asks me for a hug. I say no. He starts insisting and as he stretches his arms out, he begins approaching me. I totally freeze. I’m trying to think of how to get out of this situation like a lady, but as it’s 2:30 and I just worked 12 hours in a row. I’m completely brain dead.

      Suddenly the two women came to my rescue. It was like I was in a movie! They said to me, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” I said yes, and they took me up to one of the bus platforms.

      Despite being almost a human popsicle at this point I was happy to not be around Mr. Free Hugs. Then they start telling me about how he and his friend, who happened to be the guy pacing in circles, where double team harassing them. They told me that it got really intense and they told a TTC employee, but they ran off (to harass me).

     I know what you’re thinking, “If there’s two of them, then why did only one approach you?” Exactly. I can’t help but think about how Mr. Free Hugs distracted me from my view of the self defense mirror so his bubby, Circles McGee could drag me off from behind into the night.

      I am no longer working two jobs, and from this experience alone, I know I will never again do it.  I will also never choose a job that makes me travel home from 1-3 am. It’s obvious that I suggest you do the same.