On Embracing Change

 There are lots of little tricks to help you embrace changes in your life. I’ve heard meditation really helps relive stress, and sometimes people turn unhealthy alternatives like eating, or drinking more. I have a healthy suggestion that might actually surprise you. The change could be something big, like moving to a new city, or small, like a new season. This is my little, silly trick on helping me embrace my new circumstances in life.

     Once a change occurs, I like to get rid of my old perfume and buy a new one. That may sound frivolous, but I find it can change my outlook and make me feel like a “new woman.” This also goes for men. Changing your cologne is likely going to do the same thing, but in a more manly, suave sort of way. My scent is what I smell all day, and it can create an impression with others if they happen to walk by and smell it.

     Now, before we go on, I must say that I am not someone who sprays the whole bottle on me in one go. I never spay more than two spritzes if I don’t need to. I think it’s much classier to have a scent that only you and those near you can smell. Too many times I walk on the street and can actually smell perfume or cologne from a car driving by (I kid you not). It’s as though people weren’t sure if anyone else would smell it, so they sprayed it on fifty more times for good measure.

     Back to the point; when I smell new and fresh, it can definitely alter my mood. I somehow feel like I am more prepared for what the world will throw my way, and it makes me looser, lighter, and more confident. It makes me feel like I was previously a Debbie Downer, and now, with my new perfume, I have been transformed into a Beyonce. I’m a sassy diva, and no one can stop me. That being said, all sassy divas still need coffee to fully transform into their true sassy selves. Needing coffee does not make you less of a divalicious sasseroo, I promise.

    There are some very affordable scents out there too. I’m not saying you should spend sixty bucks if you can’t. Personally, I just started wearing an Adidas fragrance which is really nice and light for spring, but also quite affordable. If you’re not too sure what to try, and want my advice, I would suggest Fruity Rhythm and Natural Vitality. Or the pink and purple ones if that’s a more helpful description.  If you’re a man looking for a new cologne that will make you smell like a beefy man cake, maybe try Adidas Ice Dive. I’ve never smelt it, but the name is freakin’ sick!

     Even if you’ve never tried this tactic before, go for it. It’s worth trying because you have nothing to lose, and you can gain a great new scent! If you have to go through change, major or small, you might as well slightly reinvent yourself in a fun, harmless way, right?

The April Project: Thanks For Reading!

     As you may or may not know, April is coming to an end. Since there are only two days left in this month, I won’t be doing a top five list. Instead, I’ll be posting this today, and tomorrow I will be writing a “regular” blog.
     I’m not exactly sure what I want to do with this blog yet, but I do know that I want to keep posting things regularly, and keep writing about a variety of topics. I don’t want this blog to strictly focus on fashion, or strictly be humourous. I want it to follow all of my various interests, like a public diary. Let’s just hope it’ll be more interesting and less embarrassing than a diary…
     I like to think that if I write down my life and opinions, I’ll basically be living in The Carrie Diaries. You know, except without living in New York, or being a teen, and without as much fabulous shopping. Come to think of it, I have nothing in common with Carrie Bradshaw unless you count being a human female.
      Now if you’re going into this thinking my writing will be intelligent and poignant like a medical journal (I assume…I’ve never read a medical journal), then you’ll be disappointed. Unless you find pictures of pugs wearing wigs and costumes poignant. Then you’ve come to the right place, my friend!
     Am I going to bring up the idea of a pug in a costume without showing you an example? No, that would be much too cruel. The link is below. Enjoy, and thanks for stopping by.

http://data.whicdn.com/images/11402130/costum-dog-dress-halloween-princess-pug-Favim.com-63380_large.jpg

Top 5 Lazy Sunday Activities- #1: Fun 'N' Flirty Movies

 Since I am a professional knitter, I spend a lot of time watching movies because it allows me to keep my mind occupied with something I’m also passionate about while I get some work done. Some days, especially lazy Sundays, I just want to watch something light, and silly. I call these movies “fn ‘n flirty”. They don’t necessarily have to be a chick flick; they just have to feature a simple plot, at least one female lead, and cheesy comedic lines. Cosmos are always a plus, but not a requirement. Now, if you’re drinking a Cosmo while the character has one too, that’s a double plus, and is worth bragging about when you get back to the office.

     The upside to watching these sorts of films (and occasionally television shows) are that you don’t have to take the it too seriously, it typically kills two and a half hours you otherwise would have spent hugging your cats, and Meryl Streep is sometimes in them! These films don’t seem to be made for the “art” of cinematic experiences; they seem to be made so you could drink a “girly drinks” in your pajamas. It’s also good that when your boyfriend questions your poor taste in movie judgment, you can say “I just wanted something fun ‘n’ flirty, and you can’t stop me!” That usually settles things, and if he joins in, it makes for an even more fun time of making fun of the film.

     The downside is that sometimes you will choose a stinker. I mean, you will choose one so bad that you can’t even enjoy it as a quirky piece of silly. I watched one recently with my boyfriend where we couldn’t even understand how it made it into production, let alone have big names in the picture. It was so bad because it didn’t represent how real people actually act in real life. It was as though an alien had dropped from the sky and written a very poor representation of human life in your twenties. By the end of it, we were starting to joke that we should have pretended our cat wrote it, because at least then it would be kind of good for a cat. Unfortunately, it was written by a human.

     Either way, if you’re having a lazy Sunday, spending some time with a fun ‘n’ flirty flick will make you feel like a sassy diva. Before you know it, you’re Sunday will have gotten a lot more interesting too! Happy Cosmoing.

Top 5 Lazy Sunday Activities- #2: Froyo

 What a better day than this clear, baby blue skied Torontonian day to talk about getting outside, and grabbing some froyo? The answer is- a hot summer day when you sweat all the calories from breakfast off before lunch. That’s cool though, I’m still going for it.

     Froyo, by the way, is slang for frozen yogurt. If you have never been to Yogurty’s and are over the age of 12, I get how this may be a new word for you, but I swear it’s real. Urban Dictionary it if you have to! Don’t bother challenging me if you haven’t done your research, okay? I’ll link you to some proof if I have to! Just don’t make me. I’m too lazy.

      Last summer, I frequented Baskin Robins and gained weight doing so. It was this inner battle where I knew continuing to go there would only make the unhealthiness worse, but yet the ice cream was so good! Since then, Baskin Robins has closed down and a Yogurty’s opened up near where I live. Looks like this year, I am going to get tones of frozen yogurt, load on the toppings, and gain all of the weight back that I worked somewhat hard at losing…and by hard, I mean, hardly at all. I just cut back on sweets and salties a little bit and went for more walks.

     I have the philosophy, that you only live once, and when you are having a lazy Sunday, go get your yogurt, load up the toppings and live life! Then during the week, eat healthy and try to go for a walk… but who cares about the weekday parts of life, right!? Isn’t the weekend all about making mistakes like boredom eating and then regretting moments later when you realize you ate so much that it made you sick?

Top 5 Lazy Sunday Activities- #3: Youtube and StumbleUpon

     If I’m at home after a long day working in front of a computer, the best thing for me to do is to spend more time in front of a computer. I don’t know why relaxation works that way for me, but it just does. My favourite activities to unwind are using Youtube and StumbleUpon. Youtube, the video sharing website, and StumbleUpon, the toolbar that sends you pages you might be interested in whenever you want, sometimes even team up when you change your Stumble settings from “All” to “Videos.”

     There are so many Youtube videos on this site that it’s a hybrid of awesome! So many cats meowing and so little time! I know I mentioned it on Monday’s blog about annoying your cats, but it’s incredible how curious they get when you turn up the volume on a clip of a Meowy McMeowsers meowing. It’s almost as though they are desperate to know what feline broke into their house, and why they are hiding out in my computer screen.

      I know everyone on the planet has already heard of Youtube, but if you haven’t heard of StumbleUpon, I seriously suggest you give it a trial run. You’ll be hooked for life.  Also, good luck sleeping! That thing is most addictive in the worst times of the day! If its addictiveness was a math equation, it would be Pinterest + Digg x Reddit – Facebook = Stumbleupon.

     This lazy Sunday past time is always made better by a big bag of chips, can of pop, and sweat pants. This also works for any rainy days or nights. Get ready for hours to fly by, and thousands of animals to be laughed at, because it is about to get REAL up in here!

Top 5 Lazy Sunday Activities- #4: Shopping

     Today’s article is going to sound like one big stereotype. I am a girl who loves to shop. The only “saving grace” is that I don’t shop three times a week… anymore, and I have never been one to spend my whole paycheck during one outing. See, I used to work in a mall, and even now, I work near a mall. It’s very convenient to go browsing before every shift, or on your lunch break. The best way to shop this way is to try things on, leave the store and think about it. When you are at the mall as frequently as I am, there is less of a sense of urgency. There’s not that feeling of “oh my god, I need this right now! I’ll not be back for another month, so it’s either now or never! Not enough money? I’ll give you my first born, how about that!?”

     Shopping on a lazy Sunday is the best. I always try to get there just after the mall opens so there are less people cluttering up the isles, and I always make sure to grab a coffee. That is perfection. Rarely do I shop with other people, so this is a form of spa treatment for me. It’s “me time” where I can walk at my own pace, listen to music, and making an effort to feel good about my form instead of hating myself for trying on some clothing that doesn’t fit. That last point is the key to shopping successfully. The less you beat yourself up, the more rejuvenated you’ll feel once your trip is over.

     On top of killing a few hours at the mall, I always find there’s an extra hour killed for travel time. It’s a great lazy Sunday activity because it will waste your whole morning, and you’ll even get some exercise from all that walking! Too lazy too even get up? Go shopping online! Forever 21 is my personal favourite because they have so many sales, but there is a whole world of shopping waiting to be discovered from your very living room! Go explore the jungles of product paradise!

Top 5 Lazy Sunday Activities- #5 Cat Snuggles/Torture

There are many reasons why cats are awesome. One of those reasons is that they are easy to torture by snuggling. Have you ever picked up a little squirmy feline, professing how cute they are and not let go until your allergies kick in? I know I sure have.

     If they’re meowing a lot, it just means that you’re doing it right. Cats love to hear themselves talk, but you can’t let their sassiness bring you down. If they look into your face with those big, sad eyes, play with their whiskers. That will confuse them enough to silence their noise cave.

     Think this is a cruel way to spend your time? Well try thinking about all the times they’ve left “accidents” on your carpet, clawed at your feet because you moved your toes slightly, or anytime they’ve used your couch as a scratching post. Yeah, they deserve it. Besides, you feed them and clean their litter box without getting much in return. Consider this a part of your reward for being such a kind, and giving owner.

     If you’re cats are hiding or sleeping in an undetermined area, the best thing to do is to find different videos of cats meowing on Youtube and turn it up really loud. Cats are curious and will eventually come into your room to investigate. This is your chance. Wait until they get close, pretend to go in for petting, and once they’re in arms reach, snatch them up and cuddle them.

     I know this may not seem like it could take up an entire Sunday, but you’d be surprised. It’s not just about the cuddling, it about the escape, the re-luring and the re-catching until thy give up completely. Also, if you can find a funny hat to put on them, it makes the experience a lot more worthwhile.

Top 5 Romantic Date Spots in Toronto- #1: Panorama

 Have you ever eaten dinner over Toronto from a helicopter? If you have, I want your life, so please let me have it, please. If you haven’t, I know of the next best thing; Panorama. It’s a restaurant on Bloor and Bay, 51 floors up, and you can even eat on their patio! If you look at their website, it is top rated as Toronto’s romantic must-see spot.

     I’ve been there twice and have eaten both inside the restaurant and outside on the patio. If you are afraid of heights, eating inside should still give you that sense of awe without scaring you to death. If you’re not so bashful about the fifty-one floors, the patio is your go-to spot for sure! When I was up there, it was surprisingly tame wind wise. I was expecting it to tussle me around, but the wind was barely noticeable.

     The other suggestion I have is to go an hour before sunset. Have a few drinks, and an appetizer before your meal so you can fully appreciate your view during the day, the sunset and at night. Not only is it visually spectacular, but you’ll feel like you get your money’s worth out of the whole experience.

     Just thinking about it is getting me so discombobulated that I don’t know what else to say. Like, if you want your date to kiss you passionately at the end of it, take them here. If you want to pop the big question, take them here. If you want to stand on the edge of the balcony screaming “I’m the king of the world” while pretending to be Jack and Rose, go here, just do it after you get your bill.

     The only thing I will say about this lovely place is that there are a variety of characters that will eat here. Once I sat near a white trash couple making out, and another time a group of young business men came in pretending to be frat boys, harassed the wait staff for pictures, and got in everyone’s way. If you have the willpower to shop at Wal-Mart ,however, without letting all of that messiness get you down, you’ll do fine.

Top 5 Romantic Date Spots in Toronto- #2: The Rex

If you’re like me, you’re a hopeless romantic and introverted city girl whose initials spell JABA (like the hut). If you’re not like me, then you’re likely well adjusted, and never have to check to make sure that you remembered to put pants on this morning (that actually happens to me a lot more than you’d think).

     If you are either of these types of people, you’ll love today’s romantic Toronto date spot. The Rex Hotel, Jazz and Blues Bar is the perfect downtown date for the perfect metropolitan couple. Live music is always a nice way to break the ice on a first date, but is also a great way to enjoy a special moment with your long-term partner, and/or handbag.

     This bar is especially nice because it is close to the Eaton Center and the business district. So if one of you has a high profile career and the other a high profile handbag, the three of you (third being the exuberant handbag of holding everything dear to you) should meet up for a drink and live music sometime!

     Once my boyfriend and I were in a Montreal jazz bar and we saw a woman perform for her first time. She completely bombed, but it was clear that for her, she was Ella Fitzgerald that night. It was unfortunately bad, but that made it so good in a funny way. We were able to have a lasting memory of a woman unashamed to move up from karaoke night unsuccessfully. She basked in it.

     If you’re the person who just wants to take her handbag out for a nice night, I’m sure the handbag will enjoy it as well. You could even unzip it and make it talk back to you if you get lonely. It’s not weird, it’s called “you spent a lot of money on a thing that just carries other things so that you can have a higher status than people who don’t spend a tonne of money on their things that carry other things, and it deserves a nice night out because of that.”

     Plus, if you’re going to see live music after a long day, don’t you want something relaxing, yet passionate and sophisticated? Save the screamo for a Friday night all-night party where responsibilities and Mondays don’t exist.

Top 5 Romantic Date Spots in Toronto- #3: Harbourfront

Today’s romantic date spot is at another outdoor venue. Today we’re talking Toronto’s Harbourfront where you can partake in different festivals for free every spring, summer and early fall. It’s great for the dater on a budget and for that person looking to try something new.

     My boyfriend and I have done this date a couple times and it never fails to impress me. Once we saw a bad busker who dressed up as an angel and did that thing where he only moves if you put money in his cup. This angel, however, moved all the time and looked very bored, yet frustrated that nobody was impressed with how he didn’t move some of the time. We also saw someone performing magic tricks, and a couple of bands playing for decently sized crowds. Both were exciting, interesting, and better than the angel-dude.

      In the summer it can get hot, so we travelled across the street to an ice cream shop and tried some new flavours. That’s double the fun because you feel like on top of trying different food from little stands on the harbour, you get to cool off with new creamy flavours of heaven. Maybe the man-angel was fidgeting because he needed ice cream…

     I personally find waterfronts to be romantic, but that could just be the Jack Sparrow part of me talking. I find the sound of water splashing around is so peaceful, yet the smell of it is so smelly. The stentch is essential to the experience because it gives you both something to complain about. How romantic is that?

     You know what it is? You’re near the water, which gives you all of the sensory impressions of being on a boat, and then you go and eat different food from around the world which gives you the impression you’re travelling. That means you’re taking a simulated trip with your sweetie around the world in only a few hours without any jetlag. Sexy!

     Then you have a taste of ice cream heaven, and see an angel and you think you’ve died! Morbid! Romantic! Sexy-Depressing!

Top 5 Romantic Date Spots in Toronto- #4: High Park

 Spring has sprung, and there’s no denying it. It’s here and we’re never going back... unless you count the upcoming November, and December of this year, plus January and February of next year.

     Now that we are in the months of bunnies hopping around, birds chirping in the morning and indoor felines everywhere getting newly excited over open windows, it is the time for a lovely park date! The most romantic park for such a date being Toronto’s High Park, or as I like to call it, Central Park Jr. in New York City Jr. or the “High Park.”

      It’s is perfect since it has a lot of walking space and a lot of cherry blossoms this time of year. Tell me; what is more romantic than having a picnic under cherry blossoms, facing a small pond?! Okay, maybe any of those “Hey Girl” memes, but this is still pretty good!

     Not into picnics? That’s cool. Enjoy a cute little walk and then take your date to the High Park restaurant near Bloor St. If you’re a walker, you’ll love to start on Lake Shore and work your way up. You’ll get to see all the park, including that big maple leaf made out of flowers and in the end you’ll feel like you’ve earned your dinner. Just make sure to wear comfortable foot wear.

     Can’t escape the kids and need to take those tag-alongs on your big romantic night out? Drop them off at one of High Park’s many play areas! Just give them your cell phone and tell them not to talk to strangers! Wow! It’s like double duty because you also won’t be distracted by all of those little vibrations in your pocket Thanks High Park!

     There’s nothing to get your heart thumping quite like a big maple leaf, ice cream trucks and letting nature take care of your little rug rats. Keep calm and carry on this walking path.

Top 5 Romantic Date Spots in Toronto- #5: Spin Desert Cafe

 If there is one thing that satisfies my inner sassy diva, it’s a desert café. If there is one desert café to rule all desert cafés, it’s Toronto’s Spin. It’s perfect for a romantic date with its pink and brown décor, delicious coffee, and honestly some of the nicest washrooms I’ve ever seen. If you don’t have to go while you’re there, just go in and wash your hands to check it out. I mean, I don’t want to make this all about their washrooms, but they’re super clean, the décor ties in with the rest of the café, and it even smells good in there!

     Their menu has a wide variety and most importantly, delicious coffee. I tend to be a bit picky with coffee as I drink it frequently which has refined my taste. Spin’s cup of joe is one of the few that I request seconds on.

     When I’m there, I always get the waffle with either strawberry or apples on it (with ice cream too of course)! It’s a go to choice because it’s too good to pass up. This is the kind of place where you’ll crave your meal after a couple days go by. They make it too easy to come back!

     Now, I know I haven’t even brought up why this is a romantic date spot, but that’s because I get distracted easily. If you think you can bring up delicious dessert dinner or lunch without getting side tracked, then I’m sorry, but you’re lying to yourself, or you’re Jesus.

     Okay, this place is a really super awesome romantic place because they stay open late, you can either go there for a small desert ice cream, or a big waffle meal and because the bathrooms are exquisite. It’s great if you plan on seeing a movie with your date as there is a Cineplex across the street, and Sherway Gardens is nearby if you are looking to grab a new date outfit last minute.

     This place is also amazing for a girls night (or afternoon) out, and for brunch. Seriously, anything goes with this place. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Spin, it’s that desert is versatile, delicious and can be eaten as dinner.

Top 5 Fashion Pet Peeves- #1: Tights as Pants

Tights are not pants! They are a thinner fabric and because of that, I can see all of your crevices. Now, I’m not saying that there is something wrong with cellulite, because I don’t subscribe (to the best of my ability) to the pressures of society’s “normal” beauty. Ladies, Gentlemen, we are all beautiful, and unique, and spectacular forms of the human flesh. What I do mean, is that when people wear tights as pants, it leaves nothing to the imagination. I can also sometimes see your underwear through it and it makes me uncomfortable.

      Tights are not pants! Tights are designed to be like panty hose, but without that annoying under the toenail thing they do. I mean, don’t take my word for that as I haven’t done any official investigations, but the signs are obvious. That means that you should always wear your tights with a dress just like you would if you wore panty hose.

     Tights are not pants! They are also not yoga pants, tight sweat pants, or your skin. Let’s leave it that way.

     Tights are not pants! I recently saw a thing online about a “trend” happening in Japan where they put panty hose on their dog’s legs so they look like little people. It was creepy. How about we all agree not to do that too? Okay, good, thanks.

      Tights are not pants! I’ve sort have run out of things to say because this topic is just too plain and simple.

     TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.

Top 5 Fashion Pet Peeves- #2: Potato Sack Dresses

There is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than boxy, potato sack-like dresses. Sometimes I see women who put a belt on with it, and it makes it look awesome! My pet peeve is the woman who leaves it as a big, boxy blob.

      Skin tight dresses can be equally unflattering, but imagine you bought that simple dress and accessorized it to delicately emphasize your womanly figure. Gurl, you would look smashing! It’s honestly a hipster trend, and like any other hipster trend, I don’t understand it.

      I want to sit down with a hipster and wrack their brain. I need to know the inner workings of how that piece of unremarkable cloth makes it from Urban Outfitters, to their bedroom, to their body.

      I know when I go dress shopping, I try on a lot of things, there’s a lot of frustrated glares at my wiggly bits, followed by a pep talk about how curvaceous I am, followed by me leaving the store with a new awkwardly sassy stride. Once I try something on that hides all the right parts and flaunts all the other parts, I get really excited, grin stupidly at myself (sometimes posing in the mirror) then buy it casually like it’s no big deal and like I wasn’t at the mall for eight hours.

      Is it the same process for the women who buy the potato sacks? Do they grab the billowiest article they can find, go into the change room and glare at themselves if it flaunts too much of their natural form? Do they make their way to the next hipster haven and try, try, try things on? When they do find something they like, do they wink at themselves behind their big fake plastic glasses and buy the dress pretending like it’s not a big deal for them? Do they then go outside, put on their newly purchased garment, pulling out the sides of the dress like wings and then fly home? I’d like to think so.

     Urban Outfitters should have a sale where when you buy a dress like a potato sack, you also get some actual potatoes to go with it. You know, for dinner. I think hipsters would really appreciate that too since so many of them are baristas and likely can’t splurge on fine dining.

Top 5 Fashion Pet Peeves- #3: Baggy Pants

Men, you are not being excluded from my list today! You all need to pull up your pants, and get them tailored ASAP. Like, what are you doing?! Are you for real about those pants? I’m not asking you to wear skinny jeans, but look at it this way: what if you fall and rip your boxers open without realizing. Everyone would see your butt crack! How embarrassing would that be? I’m embarrassed just thinking about it, but I tend to get embarrassed easily… Maybe that wasn’t the best example.

      Fellas, you don’t look thuggish or sexy with your boxers hanging out of your low, baggy jeans. It’s the equivalent of women letting their bras show through their shirt. You look like you started to dress yourself, but forgot how to do it and left the house shortly after giving up.

     If you’re looking to be a straight playah, get one of those mugs with brass knuckles for the handle. That means business. Not into coffee? Say it with your gang bandana. Not into gangs? I get it, man. And yes, my gang is Hufflepuff if you were wondering.

     You want to be a straight playah and you want to say it with your wardrobe. I’ve got the perfect way to do it. First spread old timey gun powder all over your body. Nothing is scarier than someone who smells like they’ve just shot something, and also like they have a large collection of guns that they know how to operate. Then grab those famous Ellen DeGeneres undies. We all know she’s the meanest B- preaching kindness, and nothing scares evil people like love (thank you Harry Potter for teaching me that fact). Now that nobody is going to be messing up your business, you’re nearly there. I know you’re thinking that I haven’t covered the part where you ooze masculinity. Don’t worry, I got that too. Just pull your genitals out through the zipper of your pants. The more you rub up against, and get caught in the zipper, the more immune you’ll be to it. Then, once you’re immune, everyone will respect you and your junk (no matter the size).

     Otherwise, please find a different phase that isn’t so exposing. You could be the guy who loves pugs! You could draw cartoons that say, “pugs not thugs” where pugs are dressed as thugs and the thugs dress up as pugs. That will make everyone happy.  So please, let’s pull up those pants and keep it real. Thug life.

Top 5 Fashion Pet Peeves- #4: Pyjama Pants

  I truly believe that some people have a Wal-Mart hobby. These are the kind of people who attend to their box store needs by going every weekend, dressing up in their finest pyjama pants and standing in everyone’s way with their humongous cart full of pudding and kitty litter.

      If there is a place and a time for everything, the place and time for pyjamas are the home, Wal-Mart, and the occasional late night movie that you might also fall asleep in. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of that last one and I do not regret one second of it.

      I think young people can get away with wearing pj’s a lot more than adults. They always have spirit days at school, and it’s not like youth are concerning themselves with fashion faux pas when they still have recess to think about. I know when I was that age, I was thinking about what games my friends and I would play, the latest Harry Potter book, and how I would handle the embarrassment of not getting the lead in the school play (which by the way would be handled with jealousy, angst and upstaging because I’ve always been a classy babe).

     No, this problem of night wear in the daylight only concerns adults who should know better. Not only should they respect their environment (see “Top 5 Fashion Pet Peeves- #5: Athletic Wear Outside of Sessions”), but they look like they don’t respect themselves. I get that they’re comfortable, but wouldn’t you feel better about your wardrobe if they made you feel sweet, saucy, or sophisticated instead?

     The only reason why late night movie theatre excursions are off the table for me are because so many people fall asleep anyway. They might as well be comfortable doing so! That and I’ve done it too, so I feel obligated to be honest with you, but also defend my integrity.

     Fashion is not the most important thing, but people do make judgements about others everyday! Everyone formulates opinions about you every moment of every day by the way you dress, act, speak and carry yourself. If you are a great, clean and sassy diva, honey, those pyjama pants aren’t showing it.

Top 5 Fashion Pet Peeves- #5: Athletic Wear Outside of Sessions

   If you work out at the gym or if you do yoga, you likely have a wardrobe with athletic wear in it. That’s cool, that makes sense. It also makes sense that when you are on your way to your place of sweaty movement, you would like to wear this athletic apparel to save on changing and whatnot. As a lazy person who has never been to a gym (besides the school kind, and even then I was barely in it ever), it makes sense to me to travel to your session wearing such attire.

     What doesn’t make sense to me is the amount of women, teens, and occasionally tweens out there who wear yoga pants for “fun.” I understand that they have been marketed, especially through word of mouth, that they make your butt look good. It makes sense that someone would want to wear pants that are universally attractive, but whatever happened to respecting your environment?

     I mean, if you wear these pants to school, you’re saying something about your attitude towards your studies, your teachers and your peers. I mean, as a lazy person, I understand the power your attire can have on how people perceive you.

     If you’re around the house, wear whatever you want. Go naked for all I care! There is, however, something to be said about the girls and women who wear yoga pants on a date…and yes, I will be saying what that “something to be said” is.

     You think it shows your date your sick butt curvature. It really shows your date that you decided not to dress up for him. To me, this goes back to respecting your environment, and in this case, your partner. Why not wear a sick pair of jeans or a nice skirt that shows off the curvature of your butt (if that’s what you’re going for)? Then pair that with a nice blouse instead of your expensive hoodie, and you look like a proper lady!

     Now, I've seen men do all of this too, and the same goes for them, but I find women do it more frequently. My theory is simple: don’t worry about over dressing, because if anything, it’ll be flattering. It will show your date how much you appreciate their company without ever having to say a word.

Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- 1: People Watching Gone Wrong

One day, I was on my way to work which requires me to take the subway. I had no books to read, no games to play, and no videos to watch. Basically, what I’m saying is that I can either look at the posters I’ve seen a million times already, or I could do a bit of people watching.

      Now, I find more often than not, my “people watching” can turn into a bad case of staring. It’s rude, but I only realize I’m doing it when it’s too late. On this day that was exactly the case.

      A man got on and sat across from me, so I started looking at what he was wearing. Sweat pants, running shoes, a hoodie, as well as greasy, messy hair to complete the look. Then as I look away, I notice he has a hole in the crotch of his pants. I think to myself, “oh, he should throw those out.” Then I realized I was staring.

      In my defense, it wasn’t long. A few seconds at most. I did feel bad about it, but I also felt bad that I was staring at such a private area (despite the fact that he displayed it with such wide open legs that he was preventing anyone from sitting next to him).

      I look up, and we made eye contact. It wasn’t good. I was caught. I tried to act natural. Then I noticed he was making some movement. I glance back, and he was…let’s say…having a “special moment” with himself.

      I guess he took my look of disgust as a saucy look of intrigue and he wasn’t ashamed to make me more uncomfortable about it. I start looking around at the other people on the sub and they were all absorbed in their own thing as this pervert’s glance penetrates my personal hot air balloon of a bubble.

      I think to myself, “okay, just get off at the next stop, and hop on the next train.” Then I realize that it would make me late for work. Luckily I was almost there, so as I avoided all eye contact with his person, and thought about happy things like cotton candy and the noise a book makes when you flip a page, I passed away those few brief minutes and left the sub as emotionally unscathed as possible.

      What is the moral to this story? If people are having a weird public transit off, I always win…so…it’s sort of worth it I guess…

Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- #2: The Prowler In The Night

 Last January, I was working two jobs. I had a full-time contract position doing administrative work as well as a part time position at a movie theatre. A lot of late nights I would come home after working both jobs and wait in a freezing (literally) subway station for my bus to arrive and complete my trip. In case you don’t feel sympathy for past me, try working 12 hours, getting 3 hours of sleep, and doing it again the next day. Then do that for six months and tell me how you feel.

     I learned helpful things like crossing your legs helps preserve your warmth, and most of the time waiting at a subway station at 2:30 in the morning is scarier than a zombie clown with rabies and chlamydia. I’m a on the shorter, weaker side of things and I couldn’t help play the worst case scenario game every time I was waiting there. What else are you going to do for half an hour of waiting? What else is going to keep you awake?  How can you think about normal things when you’re slowly going mad with sleep deprivation?

      This particular January night, I was waiting alone, again, on a corner of a t-shaped area. If you’re confused, imagine Jesus’ cross. I would be standing on his left armpit. Sometimes I would get questionable looks from people because I looked like I was looming and peering at them, but in this spot I had a mirror that I could look into and see who was walking up behind me! It was the only defense I had!

      Two women walked by me this night and gave me that same questionable look. I felt bad because I knew I might look creepy, but I really wasn’t going to do anything about it. I accepted this look, and went back to listening to music.

      Then I noticed a guy making t-shaped circles through the area, and then those two women began to make circles as well. They still looked weirded out, but this time not at me. A few minutes go by of this and a strange man approaches me. He’s clearly drunk, but he only asks for the time so I tell him.

      Then he asks me for a hug. I say no. He starts insisting and as he stretches his arms out, he begins approaching me. I totally freeze. I’m trying to think of how to get out of this situation like a lady, but as it’s 2:30 and I just worked 12 hours in a row. I’m completely brain dead.

      Suddenly the two women came to my rescue. It was like I was in a movie! They said to me, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” I said yes, and they took me up to one of the bus platforms.

      Despite being almost a human popsicle at this point I was happy to not be around Mr. Free Hugs. Then they start telling me about how he and his friend, who happened to be the guy pacing in circles, where double team harassing them. They told me that it got really intense and they told a TTC employee, but they ran off (to harass me).

     I know what you’re thinking, “If there’s two of them, then why did only one approach you?” Exactly. I can’t help but think about how Mr. Free Hugs distracted me from my view of the self defense mirror so his bubby, Circles McGee could drag me off from behind into the night.

      I am no longer working two jobs, and from this experience alone, I know I will never again do it.  I will also never choose a job that makes me travel home from 1-3 am. It’s obvious that I suggest you do the same.

Fashion Film/ Sketch for Lively Loops' Spring Collection

Watch "Like Parent, Like Child, Like Pet by Lively Loops" on YouTube
Check out me and Jeff Felcamp in a sketch where his character just can't figure out how everything is supposed to be really worn.
  Special thanks to my Creative Consultant, Irene Ahmed.

Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- #3: The Crowded Morning Bus

 Last September, my boyfriend and I were taking a trip to New York. Since we were only going for a few days, and New York is… well… New York, we wanted to squeeze in as much time as we possibly could. That’s why we decided to leave early on a Sunday morning.

      This is off topic, but I had that Jay-Z and Alicia Keys song the whole vacation. I felt like I was in a really cheesy, boring montage from the 80s.

     Anyway, that also meant that in order to get to Billy Bishop Airport in time, we needed to take a night bus as the subway was still closed for the night. Yeah, we left just as cool, social people who aren’t afraid of dancing in public were on their way home.

     So we get on this bus, and of course it’s packed since one only comes every so often. By boyfriend and I compact into approximately one cubic inch like everyone else and we ride this thing for twenty minutes near the back- yes, that’s important to the story. It was some of the most uncomfortable time I’ve spent on a bus, as I have a very large personal bubble. It might even be classified as a hot air balloon at this point. My point is, it’s large and in charge! Just like my butt.

     After these twenty minutes of being too close to dirty strangers on a stinky thick-aired bus, a gentleman comes on and announces at the top of his voice, “I am a disabled man. Can I have a seat?”

     No one moves. I thought to myself, “this poor man, who has to announce to a bus full of strangers that he struggles to stand, does not get his simple wish fulfilled.”

     After a few good, solid minutes, someone stands and lets him sit down, but this seat was not the closest to him. As the bus begins moving again, this guy has to push past a crowd to get to the seat. Oh, and did I mention he was disabled?!

     It was a weird way to start my day, a weird way to start my vacation, and a weird way for people to treat each other. If you’re reading this, and later in your life a disabled person, a pregnant person, or an elderly person gets on a bus with no seats nearby, get your butt up and burn some calories doing so

Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- #4 The Boy With His Gum

There comes a point in every human’s existence where you question the sanity of a seemingly normal, but perhaps flavourful, individual deliberately committing a ridiculous act. This story is my very real observation of a flavourful individual who I have since deemed sane, but a functioning idiot.

     I hopped on the bus on my way home from work. I sat in one of the last pair of free seats in the back, and happened to be sitting behind a teenage rebel. I’m going to describe him, even though I’m sure you’ve seen the type before. He wore his hat backwards, he smelled much too strongly of cologne, and he reeked of self admiration. I could tell he kissed at himself in the mirror, flexed as he hit on his own reflection, and was never sad about being alone since it would leave him in his favourite company.

      This guy, for my entire ride of 15 minutes, chatted on the phone with his buddy very, very loudly about having sex with girls and treating women like objects. I remember looking around hoping someone else would catch my eye and be like, “is he serious? Let’s connect about how awful this guy is and become best friends!” Alas, that never happened. Nobody seemed to be as furrowed browed and fist clenchingly upset as I was.

     Then a weird thing happened. This fresh faced misogynist finished his conversation, hung up his phone, then reached into his mouth and pulled out his gum. Like I said, this is a bus. There’s no garbage, and this was the kind of person who doesn’t think twice about destroying public property with his mouth sludge.  That’s why he held out his arm, and without even looking, he dropped the gum onto the center of the empty seat beside him!

      My mouth literally dropped. I couldn’t believe the audacity of someone to purposefully ruin a bus seat and potentially ruin the seat of someone’s hard earned apparel. Clearly this boy never learned about respect, the annoyance of getting gum on your clothes, or the repercussions being a total douche bag can have on your education, career, friendships, romances, and future overall. Although maybe he’ll be utterly happy living in his parents’ basement for the rest of his life, making kissing faces while flexing into a mirror.

     Personally, I like to imagine that somewhere out there, all of the ladies’ pants and skirts grew into one mega gum stained monster and are eating his misogynistic, overly scented hat as I write this.

Top 5 Weird Public Transit Moments- #5: The Streetcar Brawl

 Being around, or involved in a fight in any way is one of the most stupid and annoying things to me. That’s why, despite being a typical, “Oh my god, a fight broke out on the TTC and it was soooooooooooooo crazy,” kind of story, this has made my list of my Top 5 Weirdest Public Transit Moments.

     It was a warm summer night, and I was on my way home with my boyfriend. We were on a streetcar on a ride that takes about 45 min to get home, and about 35 minutes into the ride, two intoxicated groups of young people decided it was the right time to mark their territory…WITH BLOOD!

      No, not really. It was likely that they were fighting over something a lot more important, like the strife of third nation countries, their desire to raise their status with a booming economy and how they can achieve that goal. That, or you know, whose boyfriend was hotter.

      So here my boyfriend and I are, sitting far enough away that we’re not involved with the tussle, but close enough to be annoyed by them. Eventually the streetcar stops, and the operator calls the police. The brawling hoodlums try to flee to the street, still yelling at each other, but the cops stop them and begin questioning them. While this is happening, our transportation remains still. It sits there for a good ten minutes before we decide to just get out and walk.

      We had to walk past the angry youth, past the cops, and past the scene. We walked for over half an hour, which honestly wasn’t that bad considering it was a nice night and I do a lot of walking on the regular, but it was the fact that these hooligans mucked around and ruined our pleasant atmosphere that was annoying.

     Also, they actually starting ripping each others’ clothes, like in the movies, and I got an objectionable eyeful. Actually, scrap the atmosphere thing, seeing people’s personals on a streetcar is what made this situation weird for me.

     For any of you reading this and have a similar story, please feel free to share it in the comments! I would love to hear your weird public transit stories if you’ve got ‘em. Remember, sharing is caring, and I care a lot.